4 Blocks That Prevent You From Finding A Partner
Life as a couple is not the only alternative, of course. However, if at this moment you want to share your life with a person and after a while there is no one who fits, it may be due to certain psychological obstacles. Our minds can sabotage us in such diverse and subtle ways that they sometimes go unnoticed. However, once you identify the blocks that are preventing you from finding a partner, you can start working on them.
Most of us experience, at some point, blockages in some area of our life. This is, beliefs, ideas or thought patterns that limit us in achieving a goal. If, in your case, finding a partner seems like an unattainable goal, ask yourself if you identify with any of the following situations.
Some blocks that prevent you from finding a partner
You feel like you don’t deserve it
Lack of perceived merit can be the source of difficulties in finding a partner. Self-esteem, confidence and perceived worth regarding oneself are fundamental when it comes to relating to other people, especially at the loving level.
Perhaps you feel that you are not attractive, cultured, interesting or successful enough. Maybe, at a more or less deep level, you feel that you don’t deserve someone else to love you, that you don’t have much to offer, that others are better than you.
It is important that you remember that perfection does not exist and that all people have strengths and areas for improvement. There will always be someone younger, slimmer, or smarter, but this doesn’t mean you don’t have much to contribute to a relationship. Therefore, start by working on your self-love and begin to see yourself as you would like others to see you.
You are afraid to compromise
The fear of commitment does not always manifest itself in a clear and evident way. Maybe you think you want, above all else, to build a strong and lasting relationship. However, you may be feeding a fear of being vulnerable, trusting, and depending on someone else.
A bad past experience (either with an ex-partner or with one of your main attachment figures in childhood) may have led you to believe that loving is exposing yourself to the danger of being harmed. Isn’t it logical, then, that you try to protect yourself?
If you feel that this is your case, working on those previous experiences can help you heal and understand that every bond implies a risk, but that the alternative may be damaging you even more.
You have a bad concept of what you are looking for
Human beings can be extremely contradictory. We want a life as a couple, but we believe that relationships take away our freedom. We are looking for a partner, but we may think that all men are unfaithful and superficial, or that all women are manipulative and interested.
From this perspective it is really difficult to find a partner, because why would you want to be with someone with such negative qualities?
If this is one of the blocks that prevent you from finding a partner, you can rethink your concept of love and your potential partners. Try to see in the couples in your environment a place for inspiration, to see for envy or criticism. Instead of pointing to every interested woman or cheating man and using them to reinforce your belief, look for examples that reflect what you want: a loving and respectful person.
You feel like a victim
Finally, it is important that you try to get out of the victim mentality. How many times a day do you repeat the bad luck you have in love? How many times do you remember and review all your love failures?
Instead of feeling miserable and trapped in an unfair situation, recognize that you have the ability to change it. Identify what went well for you in the past and learn from what went wrong, keep a clear idea of what you want and try to work optimism, since this disposition will help you to be more open to the opportunities that arise.
The blocks that prevent you from finding a partner can be worked
If you feel identified with any of the above situations, do not think that any of them is a condemnation of singleness. On the contrary, they are the map that will guide you about what you should work on.
Beliefs are learned and, in the same way, can be unlearned. Now that you have recognized your blocks, you are closer than ever to transforming them to achieve the relationship you want to live.
