5 Reasons Why You Can’t Find The Love Of Your Life

The idea that there is “the love of life” has become very widespread. In one way or another it is a contemporary version of the myth of the better half. It implicitly introduces the idea that there is a great love predestined for us and that our role is to seek and find it. If you can’t find the love of your life, what you should do is keep looking.

There is nothing wrong with decorating the love of a couple with romantic ideas. In fact, it can be enriching. The problem appears when you suppose that you cannot find the love of your life, but that at any moment you are going to discover him somewhere. And that it will really last a lifetime. If not, it is because that person “was not”, but someone else will be.

The trouble with all this is that it can lead some people to live by an ideal fact. And ideal facts only inhabit the world of ideas, but not in reality. That is why it is worth clarifying things a bit. To do this, let’s look at five of those reasons why you can’t find the love of your life.

1. The love of life does not exist

The first reason why you can’t find the love of your life is because they don’t exist. At least it does not exist in those terms of someone predestined to occupy an extraordinary place in your heart. There is not a single person with whom we can be happy in a relationship, but many.

Every relationship , no matter how wonderful, is liable to end. That does not depend on fate, or on foreign forces. It is simply a consequence of multiple factors. The most frequent of them, frustrated expectations and difficulty to maturely welcome the other in our lives.

2. Narcissism prevents accepting differences

Many people think that their ideal partner is a kind of mirror for themselves. They are looking for someone who is their own version in someone else’s body. It is obvious that there has to be a solid compatibility between the two, but that does not eliminate the fact that there can also be, and are, big differences between the two.

If you can’t find the love of your life, you may have a too personal idea of ​​love. Perhaps you think that a great love is the one that fulfills your needs or fulfills your desires . And you? Are you able to fully meet the needs and desires of the other person? Are you seeing everything only from the part that touches you, without taking into account the other side of the story?

3. Teen fantasies, a reason why you can’t find the love of your life

There are many people who still hold the idea that someone should “show up” to make you feel butterflies in your stomach, sweat on your hands and hearts pouring out of your eyes. Also that he transports you to paradise with his mere presence. Everything else is little.

These fantasies are a remembrance of the first adolescent loves. It is not only love, but also youth itself that leads us to experience affections in this way, during this stage. Neither youth returns, nor love affairs will be as effervescent as then. On the other hand, they could be much better and more real and durable.

4. The ability to compromise is not developed

One of the most frequent reasons why you cannot find the love of your life could be the difficulty to commit. Making a commitment is not easy. It involves a set of losses and resignations. Also an acceptance that reality is incomplete and imperfect. It is the denial of romantic fantasy, because it is a rational act.

Sometimes we do not want to accept that reality has ordinary facets, in which violins do not sound. Compromise is not compatible with idealism, but with realism. Not everyone has the tools to make a heartfelt commitment to another. To that extent, no love will survive time and difficulties.

5. There is an obsession for success

There is currently a great obsession with success, particularly in the workplace. People want to scale to the max. Have more money, more prestige and more of everything. The only way to achieve this is by giving your life to work and projects.

In these conditions it is very difficult for a great love to flourish. Even for these people love itself ends up being a company that is required to be profitable. At this point we must reveal one of the great secrets of true love: we fall in love with the vulnerabilities and needs of the other, not with their successes and successes.

If you regret that you cannot find the love of your life, maybe you should think that there is nothing to find. It is not about searching, but about building. It is not about being loved, but about loving. That is how simple the formula is to get to live a fully happy relationship.