Affective Isolation: Separating Emotions From Thoughts

Affective isolation is a defense mechanism that Sigmund Freud formulated at the beginning of the 20th century. It consists of something that may be well known to us: isolating a painful thought and reducing its emotional volume. It is taking rationalization to the extreme to strip an experience of the veil of sadness and pain.

Imagine someone who has just been assaulted on the street. After that robbery and violent incident, he lets the days go by and every time they ask him how he is doing, he answers the same thing: “It was nothing, these things happen, I don’t even think about it . ” Orienting the mental focus to the cognitive (thoughts), but removing all emotional impact is a very useful coping mode.

Also, it is important to consider that this strategy is applied many times when someone deals with the death of someone close. The fact of telling oneself that everything is going well, that the important thing is to return to the routine and not get carried away by the pain, ends up shaping what is known as frozen grief.

What is emotional isolation?

We have all applied emotional isolation at some point. It is a very common coping resource that, although it can sometimes be used in a useful way, the truth is that there are many who apply it in an unhealthy way. For example, psychological research tells us that it is very common to handle the threats that surround us by isolating the emotional component. This allows them to minimize fear to be more decisive.

Yale University speaks in a study of the repressive personality. That is, there are people who are very skilled at repressing negative information, trying to enhance the positive value of each stimulus, situation or experience. This can be effective and practical at times, but when someone uses this mechanism in all vital circumstances, the effects are not so good.

Affectless experiences: emotional anesthesia is not always helpful

Affective isolation can be useful in situations of mild daily stress. Processing reality from a more rational and not so emotional level can allow us to better handle daily difficulties. However, in traumatic circumstances, this defense mechanism chronifies the states of suffering by not managing them as needed.

Roy F. Baumeister, a well-known social psychologist, wanted to know through a study how many of the defense mechanisms enunciated by Freud at the time were manifested in our current society. Affective isolation is one of the most frequent psychological resources in many groups. 

Addicted people do this by minimizing the impact of their behavior and continuing to reinforce that addiction. It is also common for many criminals to use this emotional anesthesia to avoid feeling the impact of their actions.

On the other hand, and as we have pointed out at the beginning, it is very common for this minimization of emotions to be applied in duels as an attempt to adapt. Not feeling to continue with life, letting go of the pain to continue working, fulfilling my obligations … Obviously, this coping mechanism (in these extreme situations) is not healthy.

Affective isolation in children, from emotional loneliness to physical loneliness

Affective isolation is also common in children and is related to emotional neglect or abuse. When the little ones hope to obtain affection from their parents and what they receive is emotional coldness or suffering, those father figures become threats. And one way to deal with threats is to turn off all emotional need.

If Mom and Dad yell at me and humiliate me, I stop trusting them and stop expecting any affection from them. Little by little, they go from emotional isolation to social isolation. When they stop trusting (and needing) their parents, they stop trusting others as well. This leads them not to build solid social relationships over time.

Emotions are part of life, they cannot be repressed

Emotions are part of life and are the essence of our human nature. An emotion of negative valence cannot be repressed or separated from an experience like someone separating the chaff from the wheat. Doing so goes against who we are. Therefore, it will be useless to tell ourselves that nothing happens when someone harasses us at work, when a partner abandons us or when we suffer abuse in childhood.

Emotions are not isolated, they are validated, accepted and rationalized so that they do not block our life. Proceeding to this dissociation between what happens to us and what we feel in relation to what happens to us leads us to various psychological disorders.

Avoidance, social phobia, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder are examples of this. Let us therefore try to learn to accept and understand each felt emotion, each thought and sensation experienced.