Anxiety Affects The Quality Of Our Relationships

Anxiety affects the quality of our relationships. It also does it in a way that we are not aware of because it acts almost like an invisible steamroller that crushes everything: humor, spirits, desire and even our ability to connect with others.

The anxious mind perceives, thinks, and feels the world in “alert mode, “ almost always guided by a sense of threat, mistrust, and fear.

Daniel Defoe, author of books like Robinson Crusoe or Moll Flanders , used to say that the weight of anxiety in humans is proportional to the evil it generates in their environment. Sadly, it is not only that psychological state that causes so much suffering to those who suffer it. Its impact transcends the person himself and blurs his reality in many and infinite ways.

Job performance is reduced. Communication changes, in it the imprint of the most adverse emotions navigates, such as sadness, anger, fear, nervousness, etc. All of this causes the way of addressing others to vary;  we are less patient and what is worse, sometimes there is the pinch of mistrust or that exhaustion of someone who is no longer even capable of understanding others.

However, yes, the way in which anxiety affects the relationships in our environment will always depend on the degree to which the person is.

We can all suffer stress at a certain time, feel more anxious than normal on specific days. Now, there are those who unknowingly drag a generalized anxiety disorder or other disorders in which anxiety is present for years.

In the latter cases, multiple problems and difficulties are always experienced. Let’s see it next.

Anxiety affects the quality of our relationships: aspects that we must know

Anxiety affects the quality of our relationships, and it can do so in many ways. Each case is unique and each experience exceptional, but there are always a series of patterns that repeat themselves.

There are people who take many years to receive a diagnosis, which causes them to build, for example, affective relationships where unhappiness is always breathed.

In other cases, the partner is aware that something is happening. There is a sudden change in behavior, communication, and even health or lifestyle. In these latter situations, it is easier to identify the problem and it is also a time when the greatest possible support is needed.

Let’s learn next how anxiety affects the quality of our relationships.

This is how anxiety manifests itself in a relationship

To understand the impact of this psychological disorder on the relationship, we have multiple studies. One of them is carried out at Temple University in Philadelphia, United States. In this work, the situation of 33 couples in which one member in each of them suffered from an anxiety disorder was analyzed. What could be seen is the following:

• There is a high level of emotional pain, which is not left alone in those who suffer from anxiety : the other party also ends up suffering it.
• There is a sense of guilt. If there is something wrong at home or if the couple suffers any problem, the person with anxiety places the responsibility on their shoulders.
• Irritability and mood swings are experienced. There may be moments when there is a greater need for closeness and other moments when there is emotional coldness.

• Arguments can be constant and sometimes distances are created.
• Anxiety, as we have pointed out at the beginning, places us in a constant feeling of threat. Something like this causes the mind to interpret certain stimuli in a wrong and destructive way. For example, silences, certain gestures and words can make the person feel that their partner experiences discomfort, contempt or heartbreak. It is a way of adding more suffering to this situation.

Anxiety can generate affective dependence

This information is important. One way anxiety affects the quality of our relationships is by building dependency-based bonds. This is common in patients with generalized anxiety disorder. Let’s see the behavioral and psychological patterns that define them:

• People with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) have a very strong need for closeness. They seek to continuously obtain affection, security and calm. This causes them to build very codependent bonds in which, sadly, they never feel satisfied. Their partners cannot meet all their needs and this generates more frustration, more anxiety.
• These people are characterized by overthinking. They visualize the most adverse possibilities in each situation, such as being deceived, not being loved for behaving in this or that way, etc.
• What they fear the most is being rejected and they need immediate reinforcement in their needs. That is, if they send a message to their partner, they expect an instant response. If they make a request, if they communicate or ask for something, they expect to be attended to immediately. If this does not happen, the shadow of mistrust and the specter of fear arises.

To conclude, as we can see, anxiety affects the quality of our relationships. The same is true for other conditions, such as depression or any other type of mental illness.

In these circumstances, the most necessary thing in all cases is understanding, closeness  and that stainless support where to convince the affected person to request specialized help.