Confiding A Secret, Is It Difficult?
“If you don’t want something to be known, don’t tell anyone. ” Although we all know this maxim, most of the time we feel an irrepressible urge to confide a secret to someone else. Why do we have the need to tell our confidences and run the risk of that information being disclosed to third parties? We are all aware of this risk because we have all played one of these roles at some time. We have been confessors and confidants. The crux of the matter is explaining why we then need to share information that may compromise us.
Why do we feel the urge to share the secrets entrusted to us?
One of the main reasons lies in the social character of human beings and the need they have to involve their environment in what should not be known. Another cause that drives us to reveal personal information is linked to the curiosity that awakens in us to be able to tell frivolous topics. Many people feel “proud” of certain feats they have accomplished and need to tell them, even if they demand discretion from their confidant.
The fact trust one aspect of our secret life of another person is a sign of friendship and trust. At the precise moment that we ask another person to keep the secret, we place a responsibility on them, at the same time that we run the risk that our confidentiality will be revealed to a third party and from there the dissemination can reach unsuspected limits. Because even if that person is of our absolute confidence and has promised to keep our confidence “under lock and key”, there are several factors that will lead our interlocutor to reveal that information.
Imagine a relaxed atmosphere, surrounded by trusted family or friends, where conversation becomes boring. Suddenly, “that confidence” that your friend told you a few days ago comes to mind. Who escapes the temptation to attract the attention of the group with a “if I tell you something, will you keep the secret for me?”
On other occasions, the confidence has a plus of morality for the receiver. For example, when someone reveals to us that they have been unfaithful and their partner is also a friend of ours. Feeling that by hiding that information you are betraying the affected party, it can lead us to tell that secret.
When we don’t break the promise
However, the keeper of our secret does not always break his promise. There are those who remain faithful to their confidant and are unable to reveal that information. What motivates these people to fulfill their pact of silence? Both confiding a secret and deciding not to tell it is a true test of friendship. If we break the promise we risk losing the trust of our interlocutor. A good advice and test of sincerity is that if someone intends to place their trust in you and you think that you will not be able to meet that person, it is best to warn them.
Information is power
When you are going to betray someone and decide to reveal a secret, first assess the consequences that the dissemination of that information will have for that person. In case you have decided to tell the secret, never do it in writing, an error when sending an SMS, email or WhatsApp can have unimaginable and irremediable consequences.
Information is power and when we are aware that we have privileged information we tend to memorize it and remember it easily. To avoid temptation, it is best to keep confidentiality and forget about it. In this way, we will be able to be faithful to our confidants.
