Empathic Resonance, The Deep Emotional Connection

Resonance is a very common phenomenon in the musical universe. It is said that if we place two tuning forks one in front of the other and vibrate either of them, the other will spontaneously emit the same sound. Empathic resonance, understood as the intense connection of emotional and cognitive realities between people, seems to follow a similar path.

Resonar is one of the most beautiful words in our language. It is like the echo, like the sound that starts from one side and impacts many places at the same time. It is a stimulus that transcends and leaves its mark in multiple ways. We are talking about an area that has been arousing the curiosity of psychologists for decades.

Many will have heard, for example, of resounding leadership, shaped by Daniel Goleman. This way of taking the lead characterizes the person who is able to connect and understand the emotions of his team and use it to improve his performance. These types of leaders are able to read what the people they lead feel, using that knowledge to generate change or support that benefits them.

What is emotional resonance?

Humanistic psychotherapist Carl Rogers was one of the great exponents of emotional resonance when applying it in his person-centered therapy. One of his goals was always to connect and understand the emotions of the person in front of him, in order to transmit to them an authentic, intense and welcoming empathy. The goal was to make that person feel heard, understood and accompanied throughout the therapeutic process.

In addition, it is clear that the professional should never be “infected” or “dragged” by this emotional complex of the client. Otherwise, he would not be able to carry out his work as a psychologist, as a transforming agent and promoter of change.

Thus, one of the components of emotional resonance is also the protection of those who experience the emotional resonance of the other on their own skin. Let’s know more data.

One step beyond empathy

If we had to name a term that is always inspiring and positive, it would undoubtedly be “empathy.” However, sometimes we neglect that this psychological reality has important nuances that do not make it as exceptional as we think.

For starters, there are those who only experience emotional empathy. That is, there are those who know that you are suffering, but do not understand why. On the other hand, cognitive empathy would allow them to go a little further and understand what your problem is.

We also have instrumental empathy, that is, those that connect with you but with one purpose: to manipulate you. However, the most important factor that defines empathic people is the clear desire to act. He is the one who feels your emotions, who understands and decides to act …

Empathic resonance, a form of ecpathy

Ecpathy was a term introduced by the professor of psychiatry JL González. It defines the ability to connect empathically with someone but without being impregnated with the emotions of the other. Thus, empathic resonance also makes use of the same characteristic, that of not being carried away by other people’s feelings and being able to act in an active and practical way.

Research works such as those carried out at the University of Toronto, tell us that empathic resonance is an essential skill that every psychotherapist must develop. Connecting with the person, making him see that he is understood and being able to act without feeling blocked by the emotional reality of the patient / client is key.

How can we be more resonant from an empathic point of view?

Empathy, like empathic resonance, are two dimensions that should be more present in society. We need people who look into our eyes and understand emotions, see needs, and act. The rush, superficial relationships, the digital universe of new technologies and even growing narcissism completely overshadow this competition.

Is there a way to develop that empathic resonance? Indeed, there are several strategies, but the most decisive is the will. Authentic interest in who is in front of us and proactivity are basic. This dimension involves connecting, understanding and acting.

Let’s now look at a series of very basic strategies:

• Learn to focus attention on the present moment. Things are happening around us that we are not aware of. Let’s slow down and set our sights on the here and now.
• Transcendence and meaning. To empathize in a resonant way, you have to transcend, go beyond what our eyes see to find meanings. I know my coworker seems tired, but that tiredness reveals rather sadness. You may have problems at home, it is best if you ask if you need help of any kind.
• Willingness and proactivity. What can I do to make that person feel better? How can I support you?

To conclude, we are all capable of activating and developing this ability. We can get the emotions of others to resonate with us in a way that is significant enough to make valuable interventions based on that knowledge. A way of proceeding that would allow us to shape a more humane, affectionate and altruistic world.