He Didn’t Come For You, He Came To Collect A Little More Ego

Why do some “ex” only come back to our life when we are well? There are relationships based on constant comings and goings, rather than an emotional and rewarding relationship. The same person who was not there for us when we needed him, suddenly comes back when we have managed to recover. What happens is that many times they do not come for us, they come to collect a little more of their ego.

The ego likes everything to be ordered according to its expectations. When our ego dominates the way we love, we are drawn to a Russian roulette in which we will win when our most capricious and selfish desires are fulfilled. People with a marked ego seek first of all to be recognized by others, and especially by their partners, because they are not capable of recognizing themselves.

In order to achieve a rewarding relationship for both of us, we must negotiate with the desires of our “I”. Thus, we will achieve a relationship in which we both feel good . In this sense, the love we want is as important as the love we offer.

The ego has no idea what love is

There are couples who leave it, return, leave it, return and enter an exhausting and devastating dynamic. Many times this  happens because one of the two wants to stay in the early stages of falling in love, preventing the relationship from maturing and growing.

The “ex” who live love based on their own ego think that they still have rights over their ex-partners and try to claim them especially when they see how they rebuild their lives. Many times the ex-partner thinks that they have the right to enter and leave the life of their former partner and to claim orderly and ventilated spaces that the other has managed to generate with a lot of effort.

In this sense, it does not do any good to return with an old partner to go through the same thing, to mistreat the space that has cost the other so much to rebuild. Therefore, if we are the ones who have done this hard work, in an exercise of justice with our effort, it is best to meditate on the decision, no matter how much the heart commands.

Think that many people try to get back into a relationship following the famous phrase “the bad known is better than the good to know.” Others do it out of fear of loneliness and others because they have no one to feed their ego, fulfill their wishes and tell them how good they are. In these cases, it is not worth it.

Past water … does it move mills?

After a breakup, the desire to return with that person with whom we share so many experiences can resurface. But … very careful. According to experts, if we consider that step, thinking about it for a while can be very positive before taking it. In this time, we have a task to fulfill: to identify the reasons for returning, both those of the other and ours, and value them.

For example, believing that the other is going to change what we do not like is creating an expectation that the other will hardly meet.  On the other hand, if we return to contact with that person, it must be precisely because we like their way of being, with their virtues and their defects, but being clear that what we do not like and that is important to us can end again. with the relationship.

To return or not to return with a partner is a decision important enough that we do not take it only on impulse. It is true that we can listen to this impulse, even put it on a balance, but a previous rupture and the effort that we have had to make to repair the damage deserves that we act with at least a point of prudence, not fear.