How To Deal With The Pain Of Unrequited Love?

At some point in their life, most people experience unrequited love, they discover what it means to love someone who does not show them the same appreciation.

For some, perhaps many, this unrequited love can become obsessive. This feeling  can generate such emptiness and longing that life seems useless and meaningless, as if they need the other as much as breathing.

That lack hurts like a dagger stuck in the soul. Those who suffer from it have serious difficulties concentrating on their work, falling asleep or even eating. Unrequited love can lead to apathy and even depression.

To many it will seem all this old-fashioned nonsense and that all the time suffered is time wasted. Maybe. But, in any case, it is a real pain. What was previously known as “lovesickness” can be really troublesome.

6 tips to cope with the pain of unrequited love

What can a person who suffers from unrequited love do? If you suffer from this disease or know someone who suffers from it, the following tips can be very useful.

1. Accept the real situation

In the suffering for an unrequited love of a person resides the hope and the idea that he does not have what he deserves or that what is his has been taken from him. Accepting reality from this point of view is essential to avoid obsessing over it.

Love is not something you deserve, much less the love of a specific person. That you love him with all your soul does not oblige the other to anything, not even if he is a good friend. And if that person is with another, you must respect their decision.

No one is obliged to accept your love, and for this they are not ungrateful. It is necessary to discard that romantic fiction that we see in movies and television or that we read in novels.

2. Really know the person you have become obsessed with

What do you really know about that person who keeps you awake? Have you had the opportunity to know what it is like? Many times, these unrequited crushes respond to physical needs and emotional needs, and are based more on what goes on in the mind than on the other person’s real qualities.

Falling in love with love embodied in a person who attracts you physically is too common, and that the other passes from you even more. On many occasions, a person falls in love with what they hope to achieve, with the public image they give or what they represent.

The first conclusion we get from this is that love is something that is built over time, coexistence and knowledge of the other in the various situations that arise in life, especially in the less favorable ones.

The second conclusion, surely more obvious, is that love and desire are two very different things.

4. Imagine a future in which you are not with that person

It seems complicated, but give it a try. It is one more fiction. Imagine what your life would be like if that person was not there. Visualize all the things you could do in the future. That you are not with the person you now love – or think you love – does not mean that there cannot be another, not even that you cannot be happy without company.

5. Find something to do that distracts you

Obsessive infatuation distracts from the things we have to do. That’s because that infatuation is so much more exhilarating than anything else. Fantasizing about what can be is usually much more motivating, living in the mind those moments that we wish were real, even if they leave a trace of bitterness later, is the way that a lover finds to feel close to the other.

What if you found something more interesting, something that would really keep you focused on something else, something that would satisfy other interests or needs? If you can find something that really gives meaning to your life, you will be able to overcome much better the emptiness you feel for that unrequited love.

6. That the other does not love you does not mean that you have to change something

The obsession of many people for an unrequited love makes them think that there is something wrong with them, and they strive to change to please the other. But each one is the way it is and improving the appearance, starting to practice certain activities or go to certain places does not change anything. It’s just a facade. Or even posture, as they say now.

Not even what you are inside is better or worse because others like it or not, especially that person who interests you so much. Do you want to do something? Then think about what your virtues are and exploit them, but do not do it for the other, but for yourself, to be better every day and to see yourself better.

Final reflection

True love is the one that brings out the best in yourself, the one that makes you fly, the one that makes you great, the one that makes you a better person.

Living obsessed with someone clouds judgment, inhibits creativity and personality, and causes what is truly important in life to be buried.