Signs That Someone Is Exceeding Our Limits

That someone is exceeding our psychological limits can be compared to a drop of water falling on a large stone. Millions of years must pass for that trickle to erode the hard rock. In the case of people, it does not have to be that long, clearly, but it is very difficult for us to realize it. (The story of the unsuspecting frog).

This is because the manipulation is subtle and not easy to detect. Unfortunately, we do not realize that someone is crossing the line from which your integrity is compromised, for example. However, the main problem is that almost all of us are not really aware of the limits that we must set, of when our emotional plane begins and ends. This can be complex and hardly anyone thinks about it.

Thus, it  is more difficult to determine if someone has gone “smart” (in any sense). In order to avoid any inconvenience, we ignore that incident, we believe that it has been something “isolated”. This is synonymous with extending our limits, unconsciously, of course, but there are times when we let them go beyond what is recommended and it is more complicated, later, to recover the territory that corresponds to us.

It is good to know that the fact that you extend your limits from time to time or with certain people is not a bad or negative decision in itself. In fact, it is proven that the most intelligent, creative and sensitive people are those who have flexible limits. But beware, a sensible and assertive flexibility.

There are certain occasions, however, in which we must assert ourselves, demonstrate that our rights are insurmountable; otherwise, we will be more exposed to being subjected. The first step is to learn to detect the precise moment when someone is exceeding our limits, once we have already determined what they are and what they serve us for.

Signs that tell us if someone is exceeding our limits

Next, we are going to identify some signs that tell us if someone is exceeding our limits or not. This will help us in a significant way to begin to change our way of relating to others, being more assertive. Because sometimes we tend to allow others to take advantage of us.

1. Justify the bad behavior of the other

Those excuses that we can make when someone treats us in a less affectionate way, despises us, is contemptuous, etc. This is very common in couple relationships when one is violent and the other the victim.

One way for them to exceed our limits is when you let bad acts go by because deep down “he loves you. ” Although we are 100% sure that the other person loves us, violence is never allowed, as well as other types of behaviors that cause harm.

It is necessary to be very attentive because there is only one step between understanding and submitting. When you want to understand why the other is treating you in a way, don’t justify it or lie to yourself just to avoid an argument or face reality.

2. Blame yourself if something goes wrong

If you constantly blame yourself if something does not go as you expected, whether at work, at home, at the University, etc., it is because someone in your environment is exceeding their limits. It is that taking responsibility for our actions is fine, but not carrying the debts and obligations of the other, nor blaming ourselves for things that exceed us.

This will make it impossible to solve the problem and it will take longer to achieve good results. If your teammate has “taken” your effort and your part in a project, do not think that it is because you yourself did not know how to defend it at that time. Perhaps there is another underlying problem, such as that you are afraid of generating conflicts at work, you do not know how to speak in public, you are ashamed to raise certain issues, etc. Do not blame yourself, but fight for what you know is yours.

3. Doubt your own decision when hearing another opinion

If once you have thought a lot about an issue and have made a decision, someone comes along and just by outlining their criteria you start to doubt, it is likely that that person will begin to “take advantage” of this advantage. It does not mean that it will always be this way, but be careful.

It is valid to consult with others when we do not know what to decide or choose in our life, but what is not acceptable is that every time you talk to “X” person, then you end up doing the opposite of what you had already raised or decided. Sometimes, the points of view of others can “make us dizzy” or “help”, it all depends on who it comes from.

When we are certain that someone is exceeding our limits, let us not hesitate to state it clearly. Let us express what we are feeling, what we think, let us make it very clear what our position is on it, so that it does not happen again. Nothing to do a drama or get angry with the other, but always respect the relaxed and determined tone in the voice. Let us convey that in certain aspects we are not willing to compromise.