Solving Our Problems Can Take Time
The hours go by very fast, that’s why we want things right now, on the spot. We don’t know how to wait. This makes us very nervous, it stresses us out. We have become used to meeting our needs without taking our time. But what happens when we can’t control this? What happens when our problems rule?
We all have problems. Sometimes they arise in our relationship, others with respect to our work and, on many occasions, due to internal conflicts. As soon as a mishap arises we want to put an end to it. In this hasty endeavor, we act in the least appropriate way. Because it’s not about solving the problem, it’s about overcoming it.
Problems are not solved, they are overcome
When we talk about solving a problem, we mean overcoming it. How many times have we ignored our problem! And how many others have we hoped that in a matter of days it has disappeared. A difficulty is an opportunity to improve, to learn and to break down that barrier that we have raised, or has raised, before us.
Let’s take a fairly common example. When we lose a loved one, we go through a grieving process in which we learn to accept that that person will never be with us again. Its duration will depend on our way of being. Therefore, we can never determine how long it will take us to overcome this negative and sad experience.
As we can see in this case, it is not about solving what is happening to us, but about overcoming it. Of course it will not be pleasant. You will be sad, this emotion may even sink your bones … But, wishing that all this ends may lead you to “pretend” or to believe that everything is fine when it is not.
No one will be able to tell you how long you will need. It may be a few weeks, a month, or even a year. In this period it is necessary that you learn to accept what has happened, analyze your emotions, not lie to yourself by repeating that “everything is fine.” Nothing happens to be bad, not everything that happens to us and affects us will be positive. Therefore, it is essential that we learn to give it the necessary space so that we can heal ourselves, so that problems can heal.
Also, don’t forget that time is wise. If you are taking a little longer to solve this difficulty, it may be because you are not prepared. Maybe you need to mature and time will allow you to do it. Perhaps, it is important that you learn so as not to fall back into the same thing or, simply, you are delaying that visit to the psychologist that would do you so much good.
Have you been unwell for a year or two? Are you still not feeling well? What are you waiting for, then, to ask for help. When our stomach hurts we do not hesitate to go to the medical center to get help because we are not able to stop feeling pain. But, when the problem is in our mind, we object and “hold on. “
A psychologist is a professional who can help you and give you those keys that you did not know to learn from what has happened to you and overcome it. Also, it can help you mature, to see the circumstance from another perspective. Have you noticed that we place more importance on physical pain than our emotional pain? And, curiously, it is the latter that gives us the most problems …
Adversities will happen and we do not have to fear the duration that we may need to overcome them. Sometimes, we are not prepared and, other times, the fact of believing that we are already well causes that the obstacle is not knocked down. Ignoring the problem will never be the solution. We may delay the time to face it, but it will probably be bigger as well.
Remember the many times we have talked about mistakes and how they help us to learn, not to feel ashamed or stop pursuing what we want. The same goes for problems. They are not resolved, they are overcome and, thanks to this, we will come out stronger.
