The Psychological Consequences Of Partner Abuse

Abuse is an overwhelming experience for any human being. It always leaves traces that are difficult or in some cases, impossible to erase. When it comes to a situation of partner abuse, the psychological consequences are usually very deep, especially if the damage comes from someone you love.

It is convenient to differentiate between mental injury and psychological abuse. The mental injury is the result of a violent act. The set of sensations and emotions that is experienced immediately after being a victim of abuse. The psychological sequelae, on the other hand, are the traces that remain in the mind, when the mental injuries have not been adequately treated.

Partner abuse, as well as domestic abuse, are the two types of violence that most impact a person’s life. The affective bond is deep and for this reason the situation of abuse tends to persist for a long period of time. The worst thing is that in many cases the violence is subtle or consented to by the environment or culture. So, it is not even recognized that there is a problem and that is why it persists for decades.

Partner abuse

Partner abuse manifests itself in many ways. One of the most brutal and painful is one that involves  physical violence. However, there is also a whole set of abusive behaviors that appear almost invisible to the eyes of others.

Partner abuse is expressed in behaviors such as the following :

• Teasing and ridiculing of the abused person’s beliefs, appearance, or opinions.
• Constant signaling of errors and messages to indicate that the other does everything wrong, or that he has defects at all times.
• Manipulation to make the other feel guilty. He is credited with failing to live up to expectations and is punished with silence or anger.
• Denial of the existence of abuse. If the victim seeks to talk about the issue, the aggressor refuses to dialogue or does not recognize that his actions cause harm.
• Isolation from friends and family. This includes jealousy, criticism of friends or family, annoyance over social encounters, etc.

In all these behaviors the common point is the desire for control over the partner. The abuser always tries to impose himself and annul the other, even if he does it in a subtle way. In fact, you don’t need to yell or say loud words to engage in these forms of partner abuse.

The aftermath of abuse

Partner abuse leaves psychological consequences in different areas of life. Traces remain in the body, in the mind and in social life. Although each case is different and each person reacts differently, the consequences are more or less the same.

The main consequences of this type of situation are:

• Psychological sequelae. They mainly have to do with damage to self-esteem. In fact, those who have little self-esteem present a higher level of risk of falling into the hands of an abuser. Feelings of guilt and helplessness appear, as well as states of anxiety and depression.

• Physical sequelae. The most frequent physical sequelae are sleep problems, digestive disorders, headaches, hypertension and respiratory disorders
• Social consequences. Most often, the victim of abuse isolates himself. He begins to stop seeing his friends and later, his family, as he feels unworthy and ashamed. Also, of course, so as not to upset your partner, who is often wary of such encounters.

It is important to note that for battered men the situation is often a bit more complex. Society continues to be very macho and it is not well seen that a man allows himself to be mistreated by his partner. So they tend to hide it and are even reluctant to admit it to themselves. That is why they are a little more likely to get sick and develop addictions in response to their hidden pain.

To do?

Living in a situation of partner abuse generates great confusion, especially at the beginning. Typically, strong ambiguities begin to emerge in feelings, attitudes, and thoughts. It is loved and hated. Irritation is felt and, at the same time, the other’s behavior is justified.

It is never easy to face the fact that the person we love is also such a source of problems that perhaps the only way out is to leave them. All of this is part of the perverse dynamics of partner abuse.

The most difficult thing to get out of this type of situation, which is always very harmful, is to take the first step. And the first step is to accept that you are in a relationship in which there is partner abuse. Accepting this, the next thing is to face the fact that this situation is not going to go away by itself and that, therefore, it is necessary to ask for help. Ideally, psychotherapy is probably very deep elements involved.