The Story Of An Ordinary Girl

This is the story of an ordinary girl. A girl without a name because she can have many. A girl who fell in love with what she believed to be the best man in the world: a fairy tale man, a prince charming. In this way, she decided to become his princess.

To try to achieve this, she gave up her freedom, her ability to decide, her smile, her friends and her family. In exchange for what she thought was love, she gave her life: she  put her at the mercy of the waves that only moved at the whim of a selfish heart that thought it could possess everything, even people.

Meet

It was another day at the office, he was at his desk doing his work quietly until a colleague came to inform him of the news. Our girl used to ignore comments. She knew that her companions were often exaggerated and that gossip and speculation were often more the product of novelty than reality.

When she saw it, she realized that she was wrong. He was a dark boy with hazel eyes and a captivating smile. He was not just any boy, he was the perfect man. And that perfect boy turns out to be coming home on the same subway line. And that’s how they met.

Fell in love

Falling in love is not a conscious act, it is a feeling that gradually intoxicates you. A feeling that begins with the illusion of meeting someone who enters your eyes, but little by little conquers your heart. The eyes can deceive you, but the heart is always authentic.

The perfect boy also noticed her and was quick to ask for her phone number. He waited for her to take the subway together, fearing that at some point during the trip she might need him and not be there.  And then he asked her out on a date. It was very romantic, so much so that everything around him seemed like a dream.

Some days, shortly after saying goodbye, he would write messages to our girl as if in her absence he saw the end of the world reflected. It was all sweetness and love. He hugged her when they said goodbye, writing in that space in which the two contracted what he was going to miss. She felt the luckiest woman in the world because of all the women that inhabit it, he had chosen her.

Jealousy and isolation

My best friend sometimes worries about the messages she writes to me, she says that at the bottom of her words there is an anxiety that she does not like. I think it is really romantic that he wants to be in contact with me all the time. He is my knight-errant and I think that if he knows where I am, he will be able to rescue me from any danger.

The other day he got a little jealous because he saw me talking to another colleague, but this was just another one of his demonstrations of love, of how important I am to him. He asked me if I like him, because I was laughing with him like when he met me and we laughed together. Maybe he was flirting unintentionally, so I promised him that I will never show myself in such an open way again. I do not want to lose him, nor do I want him to be upset … With all that he takes care of me!

Yesterday he called me and the phone was communicating, I was talking to my best friend, but he has become jealous again because he thought he could be talking to someone else. Maybe he’s starting to be a bit controlling, but he’s so kind and good and he does it because he loves me so much that I can’t help but forgive him. If he cares so much about me, it is because he loves me very much. If he wants me to always be so close, he is not going to leave me.

My friend has gotten angry because she doesn’t understand his attitude. The perfect boy has told me it’s because she’s jealous, she doesn’t have anyone who loves her. She says that she is a bad influence on me and that she puts strange things in my head. It is still true that she is jealous, I am worried that the two of them are not getting along.

Last night I went out with my friends. He has gotten angry, he called me a whore, he said I was wearing a lot of cleavage and was very neat, as if he were provoking or looking for someone else, and that with him I no longer fix so much. Still my clothes were a bit daring and I can understand that it has bothered him. I do not want to lose him and less for a nonsense of these.

My friends don’t have a partner and maybe they can dress like that, but I already have and I can’t disrespect him like that. Besides, if he did it, I’d probably get mad too. They have to understand that I can’t go out like this again and if they don’t, they are not my real friends.

Is this love ?

This is not love, it is manipulation, control and dependence. No one has the right to tell you how to dress or make up or who to talk to. No one has the right to make you tremble with fear for being aggressive, even if they don’t touch you.

What I relate here is a scene of psychological abuse. There are no blows here, but they can come later. The blows come when an ordinary girl depends so much on the aggressor and is so convinced that she is doing something wrong, that it is impossible for her to reveal herself to them.

There may never even be physical violence, as we see it may not be necessary. She is alone, at his mercy, she will do what he says. It will stop being her to depend totally on him. He has managed to control her, he does not need to mark her so that she clings to him more.

This is the story of any girl, you can choose a name for her, unfortunately in reality she has many. It can be your sister, your friend or your neighbor. It can be any girl who thinks she is in love but is actually being controlled and humiliated.

Do not close your eyes, help him to see reality far from his thought scheme. Even if he wants to throw you out of his life, don’t walk away. Even if you sometimes witness him approach the cliff, do not think that it is his fault, remind him that he can count on you. Convince her to call 016 -in Spain or the corresponding number in your country-, she needs help to get out of there and if you leave her alone she will not be able to.