What I Would Like People To Understand About Losing A Child
What I would like people to understand about losing a child is that no one is ready for it. Hence, and first of all, you want to recommend something as essential as it is wonderful: we must enjoy every moment with our own. Nothing in this life is certain, nothing is guaranteed, not even that children will outlive their parents.
If there is one aspect that all the people who have suffered the tragedy of losing a child highlight, it is the feeling of loneliness and misunderstanding that they come to feel during the first moments. Many feel isolated because they think that no one can understand their pain.
In the first place, it should be said that there are no strategies that can serve us all equally, when facing the grief over the loss of a child.
However, what we must be clear about is that we should never face it alone. The family nucleus must stay together and take care of itself, heal itself and learn to live with that emptiness, reorienting the day to day. It is therefore worth taking into account these simple reflections that we want to share with you today.
I have to fight every day against the paralysis of my spirit, my body
Losing a child means that overnight the world stops. It is something against nature that our mind cannot assume. And we remain still, without air, as if we had run out of soul …
This is something we should avoid. Our mind is unable to process what happened, and hence the denials, blockage and immobility. However, the grieving process itself should help us manage all these emotions.
We must avoid being isolated, because loneliness itself pushes us to that same paralysis. It is therefore vital to have the help of family, friends, and any health professional to manage us.
Losing a child and not neglecting others
Children assume death in a very different way than we do. And we must not neglect their own process, especially if they are already between 6 and 1 years old.
It is recommended that children express their words, that we address their doubts and that we encourage their emotional relief without hiding our regret either. Pain must take shape in order to be released and channeled.
It is necessary to have projects again on a day-to-day basis, to allow ourselves to smile again with the children, honoring the memory of the one who is gone. We will learn to live without that son but he will never lose that privileged corner in our hearts. Life will be different after that loss, no doubt, but we must allow ourselves to be happy again. You shouldn’t feel guilty about it.
Image courtesy of Lucy Campbell, Claudia Tremblay
