Why Do We Sometimes Feel More Free When Talking To Strangers?
Sometimes talking to strangers can make us feel much freer than conversations with our lifelong family or friends. The reason could be that a stranger sees us as we are, free from idealizations and self-deception, not how he wants to believe we are, and that is something very liberating to relate to and to express ourselves.
Canadian researcher John Helliwell states that there is no situation that generates more gratification than talking to strangers, as it increases levels of happiness. Talking with strangers makes us feel better about ourselves, considering this action as a show of humility and kindness.
Since our childhood we have heard the phrase “do not talk to strangers”, and it makes some sense until we are a certain age. This advice was given to us mainly with the aim of preventing some dangers. However, according to a study published in the Journal of the Mental Environment , engaging in conversation with a stranger produces a feeling of well-being.
Another study published in Psychological Science indicates that children, from the age of three, could distinguish on their own whether the people who approach them are trustworthy or if they should get away from them, and at seven years they could already do so with the same precision than adults.
As we can see, interacting with strangers has beneficial psychological effects, different from those we obtain when speaking with people who belong to our social circle. Let’s go deeper.
Talking to strangers makes us more productive
Sheen S. Levine, a professor at Singapore Management University, points out that what frequently gives companies their competitive advantage is not only their accumulation of knowledge, but the use of performative links. That is, spontaneous communications between colleagues who do not know each other at all in which key knowledge is transferred without anyone expecting anything in return.
For Elizabeth Dunn, a psychologist at the University of British Columbia, talking with strangers increases our subjective well-being and this has a direct impact on our productivity. Talking to strangers and having them listen to us contributes to the strengthening of our identity. It makes us feel that we can contribute something, that we are taken into account and valued.
We prefer to talk to strangers because they expect nothing from us
Probably, it may be that sometimes we prefer to talk to a stranger because he sees us as we are, not as he wants to believe we are. Talking with people with whom we have a personal relationship has a positive influence, if it is healthy, on our mood, although to control anger and / or dislikes, talking with strangers seems to be more effective.
Most of us act in two ways when we are in a bad mood. With the people in our inner circle, we vent our anger because we know we can do it and also where the limit is ; On the other hand, when we interact with a stranger on the street, we tend to be more friendly and polite.
According to a CBS News article , titled Talking to strangers can boost your happiness level, Elizabeth Dunn, a professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia (Canada), conducted an experiment to verify this fact. He found that when people interacted with strangers, they behaved much more agreeably than with those with whom they trusted, which helped improve or boost their mood. And it also helped them feel part of the community.
Thus, conversing with strangers acts as an emotional switch. It makes it easier for us to take enough emotional distance to regulate how we feel and to observe the situation from another perspective.
As we can see, talking to strangers is beneficial for our psychological health. Not only does it provide us with social roots, it makes us feel better and valuable, but it is also a good opportunity to improve our social skills, connect with others and feel part of the community.
